Kids Say the Darndest Things: Dentist Edition

Funny Things Kids Say at the Dentist

• “I can’t floss because I don’t have any” (at which point mom points out that there is an economy size pack from CostCo under the sink)
• When asked “Do you floss?” they say, “I did today before my appointment!”
• “I love to eat candy!”
• “My mommy/daddy never flosses”
• “My mommy/daddy has a lot of cavities”
• “My mommy/daddy never goes to the dentist”
• “No one ever told me I was supposed to brush my teeth twice per day”
• “My mommy/daddy drinks a lot of soda”
• “My mommy/daddy hates going to the dentist”

Dental Jokes

Q: What did the dentist see at the North Pole?
A: A molar bear

Q: What do dentists call their X-rays?
A: Tooth pics

Q: What do tooth fairies have on their phones?
A: Bluetooth

Q: Why did the phone go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth

Q: What do tooth fairies use to communicate?
A: Bluetooth

Q: What do dentists do on a roller coaster?
A: Brace themselves

Q: Why did the deer need braces?
A: He had buck teeth

Q: What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?
A: Denis

Q: Why do dentists like potatoes?
A: Because they are so filling

Q: What is a dinosaur known for having great teeth?
A: The Flossoraptor

Q: Dentist: What type of filling would you like?
A: Patient: Chocolate, please

Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal

Q: What does the “Dentist of the Year” get?
A: A little plaque

Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
A: Dracula’s dentist

Q: Why do vampires always need mouthwash?
A: Because they always have bat-breath

Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
A: They always come out at night

Q: At what time do most people go to the dentist?
A: At tooth-hurty (2:30)

Q: What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear

Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned

Q: What did the dentist say to the tooth when he left the room?
A: I’ll fill you in when I get back

Q: What does a tuba player use to brush his teeth?
A: A tuba toothpaste

Q: What kind of award does a tooth never want to get?
A: A plaque

Q: Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?
A: To get a filling

Q: What has teeth but cannot chew?
A: A comb

Q: Why couldn’t the dentist help the girl who ate glue?
A: Her lips were sealed!

Q: Why don’t dentists get along with manicurists?
A: They always end up fighting tooth and nail

Q: Why did the patient reveal secrets to her dentist?
A: She was told to open up

Q: How can a dentist take time off?
A: They get someone else to fill in for them

Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: To get its byte checked

Q: Why did the snowman go to the dentist?
A: He had frostbite

Q: What job did the dentist have when she was in the army?
A: Drill sergeant

A: Why did the Dentist go to Bootcamp?
A: To practice drills.

Q: Why couldn’t the tooth stay for dinner?
A: He was in a brush

Q: Why did the dentist go to the tooth store?
A: To bicuspids

Q: Which country’s citizens have the nicest teeth?
A: Brussia

Q: What do you call a tooth that you lose in your backyard?
A: A lawn molar

Q: How long did it take for the two teeth to fall in love with each other?
A: It was love at first bite
Q: How do you get to tooth island?
A: The tooth ferry

Q: Where did the tooth family move to?
A: A molar home

Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: You have a hole in one

Q: Why should you be nice to your dentist?
A: Because they have fillings too

Q: What will the dentist give you for $1?
A: Buck teeth